Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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