great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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