I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
