Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
