Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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