I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
it was like eating out sand paper
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
