Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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