Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Randomize
