My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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