Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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