please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
But break dance skills will only take you so far
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize