Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
