im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
