i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
