There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
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