You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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