I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
