It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I understand Curling. That high.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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