He managed to light the Jello on fire...
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize