I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
