It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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