If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
