dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
