Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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