You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
