Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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