I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Randomize
