the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
