i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Randomize
