And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
i just made my gag reflex go away.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize