Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
