I accidentally had phone sex last night
too bad you live with your parents still
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
