Christians are straight up FREAKS
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
