He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
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