How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
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