and i looked up. we had an audience...
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
