if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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