Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
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