i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
