Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
