I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
