I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize