I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Randomize
