I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
Randomize
