Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
she woke up with a sticky ear
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
