Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I'm so fucking centered right now
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
