Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
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