What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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