Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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