last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
