I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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