i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
