It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Randomize
