somebody snuck up and got me drunk
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Its about making memories worth repressing
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
