dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
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