why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
