When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
two words...techno handjob
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
