If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
