So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Randomize
