she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
