Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
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