Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Randomize
