she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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