what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I have surprise drugs for everyone
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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