What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Randomize