I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
