Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize