I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
