I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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